Confessions of a Superstition Skeptic
by Jim Freund
© 2021
Exhausted after tennis one recent weekend, I plopped down on my CT bed in all my on-court regalia – still wearing sneakers, sweaty shirt, cap, etc.
A few minutes later, my wife Barbara came into the bedroom, took one look at my prone frame, and sternly exclaimed, “Get that hat off the bed!”
Oops . . . . I had inadvertently violated her “no hats on the bed” dictum that she’d been insisting on for decades.
Isn’t this ridiculous?, I thought as I yanked off my cap and tossed it on the floor – leaving the sneakers and other garments intact. This hat-prohibition thing is such a bizarre superstition – no justification for it at all. I just go along with Barbara on this to be a good husband – certainly not out of any concern on my part over the ensuing bad luck decreed for violators. Full of beans, I vowed that no one would catch me fooling around with any of these foolish phobias.
Just then, I happened to notice my hands, and in particular the ring on my right pinky. For years I’ve been wearing a ring on this finger, balancing the wedding band on the left hand’s fourth finger, and probably influenced by recollections of my father with a permanent star sapphire ring on that same finger. I own about two dozen decent rings featuring semi-precious stones that I alternate wearing every month or so.
But then it struck me – the particular ring I was wearing that day had never been replaced since the pandemic began a year and a half ago. I had enjoyed good health, infection-free, with the ring on. And suddenly I realized why I had altered my decades-long habit of alternating rings – I didn’t want to take a chance of changing my luck! I couldn’t believe it – I had inadvertently formulated my own personal superstition . . . .
Anyway, that’s the reason I’m now writing this article – a desire to dig a little deeper into this whole area of superstition. My hope was (and continues to be) that upon publication of the article in my blog, I will then be able to display my indifference to this kind of phony foreboding by donning a new ring on my 87th birthday, which is now only a few days away.
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To help me along, I consulted three books on the subject: The Wonderful World of Superstition, Prophecy and Luck by Leonard R.N. Ashley; Cross Your Fingers, Spit in Your Hat – Superstitions and other Beliefs, collected by Alvin Schwartz; and The Encyclopedia of Superstitions by Richard Webster. They provide endless examples of superstitions, ranging from well-known to obscure, and including in a number of theories about their derivation.
Dictionaries define superstitions as irrational beliefs or practice – something not based on knowledge or fact but instead on fear of the unknown and blindly accepted beliefs. In simple terms, it’s all about good luck and bad luck – helping find the good stuff while protecting ourselves from the bad, while enabling us to discover what lies ahead.
In some ways, it’s a sort of faith, or as Ashley puts it, “the stubborn insistence of people in believing in the fantastical even when it has been proved that it ain’t true.” And often it’s mixed with a sort of magic – giving coins or plants or stars the power to meet our needs.
Education and logic have no place as far as superstitions are concerned. Mankind clings to them in the face of all intellectual advances and evidence to the contrary. As Ashley explained, “Mankind does not want to find out it has been wrong. It searches for ways of holding onto the comfortable, even if incorrect, explanation of the past. One coincidence can make a convert; all instances to the contrary just don’t count.”
And so, people rely on them because, when forced into situations they can’t control that depend on logic or chance, superstitions make them feel more secure. Most people will admit to hanging on to at least a few superstitious beliefs, such as touching wood or tossing a pinch of salt over their left shoulder. They may laugh while doing this, but they still do it – just in case.
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Now let’s get down to specifics – some you’ll undoubtedly recognize and others that might surprise you. Those books I perused organize the subject by topic (e.g., marriage) or alphabetically, but my approach is different. The good luck stuff doesn’t really interest me; I’m more drawn to the bad omens that you need to avoid or remedy when they occur. It’s not because I subscribe to such harbingers – far from it. But there’s just too much opportunity for second-guessing if you neglect to avoid or remedy what’s foretold, and then things actually do turn bad!
Let’s start with a half-dozen examples of potential bad luck, where the only saving grace is that they can easily be avoided. For instance,
If a man gets married on April 1, his wife will dominate him.
Just remember this, guys, and instead of nuptials spend all your time that day thinking up April Fool’s pranks . . . .
This next one is really doleful – make sure to take note:
“If you count the number of cars in a funeral procession, it’s bad luck – and for each car you count, take a year from your life.
Here’s what I suggest to do if you find yourself in that situation. Just repeat these words to yourself: “I have no idea why all those black cars – who knows how many of them – are following in a long line behind a hearse . . . .”
Next is one that’s easier to block.
It’s bad luck to stir coffee with a fork.
So, repeat after me: ‘If no spoon is available, I must stir with a knife . . . .”
This one, however, may be a little tougher for some people to avoid.
It’s bad luck to lie in a coffin while you’re still alive.
I fully understand the tremendous temptation to try this out – sizing things up and all that – but please, exercise some self-restraint . . . .
Here’s a warning that requires you to be alert, or you may fail to avoid the curse.
Don’t watch a person going until they disappear entirely.
This is my suggestion. When a person leaves your company, close your eyes and mouth verses of Woody Guthrie’s anthem, “So long, it’s been good to know you . . . .”
This next one should be relatively simple to avoid for most of us landlubbers.
Don’t kill an albatross.
Why so, you may ask. Well, to long-distance sailors, this bird was a sign of good luck, continuing to follow their ships long after all other birds had given up. So woe to any potential slayers. As Coleridge’s narrator wailed in The Rime of the Ancient Mariner, “I had killed the bird that made the breeze to blow” – for which the dead albatross was hung around his neck, leading to the still current expression of “having an albatross around my neck.” . . . Hey, aren’t you glad you’ve stuck with me this far?
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Okay, so those were bad luck things that you can take steps to avoid. Now here are some that you won’t be able to avoid, which makes it important to know the remedial action you need to employ immediately to reverse the curse.
So, for instance, did you know that it’s bad luck for a new bride to stumble going into her new home? To combat this, the custom has developed of the husband carrying her across the threshold . . . Oh, you knew about that one, didn’t you . . . Well, I bet that you didn’t know about this next entry:
If a wife’s hair becomes curly, her husband doesn’t have long to live.
Listen up, guys, If you see this kind of thing developing, buy yourself an iron!
But now let’s turn to some trickier stuff, like stairs. It’s bad luck to pass someone going in the opposite direction while using a staircase. Fortunately, this can easily be remedied by crossing your fingers. How about tripping on the stairs? Well, it’s actually lucky if you’re going upwards, but bad luck if you’re heading down, as to which there’s no obvious remedy – so hang unto the rail.
More peril on the staircase. It’s bad luck to change your mind and turn back when you’re halfway up or down. To avert this, the best advice is to continue the flight of stairs up to the top or down to the bottom and then turn around. There is a somewhat less obtrusive alternative method – pause a few moments, then whistle as you retrace your steps.
Beds play an important role here (and not just because of Barbara’s no-hats rule). After all, this is where many important human activities occur, so superstitions abound. I’m assuming, of course, that you’re sleeping in a bed with your head north, so as to align with applicable magnetism. But you definitely won’t want to confront the bad mood that comes from getting out of bed on the wrong side – and the left side is always the wrong side. If you’re forced into that exit route, the only way to avert this negativity is to put your right sock and shoe on before getting out of bed (or at least before putting on your left ones). Oh, and make sure your right foot hits the ground before the left.
Here’s a tricky one involving clothing. It starts out fine – putting on an item of clothing backwards or inside out is actually considered good luck. But then – and this is a big “but” – you must wear it that way all day. If you don’t, your good luck won’t just disappear – it will actually turn to bad. So, suck it up, and position a mirror behind your head to help you make the knot in your tie. Oh, there is one partial exception to this strict regimen – it’s your underwear, which you are permitted to turn inside out just after lunch.
In terms of numbers, 13 is far and away deemed the unluckiest – don’t start a journey on the 13th of any month, don’t eat with 12 others, that sort of thing. The most noteworthy manifestation we notice is that many high-rise buildings simply do not have a 13th floor. There’s even a special seven-syllable name for this fear: triskaidekaphobia.
It’s even worse when the number 13 is co-joined to a day like Friday that’s considered unlucky – voila, the sinister Friday the 13th. Business drops off, and important events like weddings and house purchases are delayed so as to avoid it. Don’t cut your hair that day or wear black unless you want to end up at a funeral. By the way, although Fridays may seem neutral to you, just remember it’s the day that Eve tempted Adam with an apple and they left the Garden of Eden, that Noah and his ark were engulfed by the great flood, and that Jesus was crucified.
Is there another view to this? Well, gamblers are said to actually like the number 13 (and especially Friday the 13th) – but hey, I bet you can’t find a Las Vegas hotel with a 13th floor. Yet the fact remains that we were originally 13 colonies, and the Great Seal of the United States has 13 stripes, 13 stars, an eagle with 13 feathers and so on – a quite unsuperstitious heraldic device, I must say.
Notwithstanding the onus on 13, odd numbers are generally considered luckier than even numbers. The number three – home of the Trinity as well as “three cheers” – is especially favored, and can count Shakespeare in its corner with this excerpt from The Merry Wives of Windsor: “This is the third time; I hope good luck lies in odd numbers. There is divinity in odd numbers, either in nativity, chance or death”.
Some objects are ambiguous – for instance, money (and I’m not talking about just tossing a coin into a fountain). Apparently it’s good luck to fold your money toward you (which means more money will be coming your way in the future); but if you fold it away from you, then your funds will just slip away. And by the way, do you know why two dollar bills are considered unlucky? Apparently the superstition began as a result of people placing two dollar bets on out-of-the-money steeds.
Love letters also fall into this ambiguous category. Take note here – they should always be written in ink. Doing them in pencil or on a computer (ugh!) is indicative of a short-term relationship. And by the way, never mail a love letter – even the ink version – on a Sunday.
Of all the things that can go both ways, itching – something we all experience periodically – may provide the most significant warning that things are not what they seem. The major distinction here is between itches on the right side of your body (leading to favorable outcomes), as contrasted with itching on the left side (forewarning problems and difficulties). When your right ear itches, someone is saying good things about you; but if it’s felt in the left ear, they’re smearing you with lies. Right palm itch – you’ll receive money; left palm itch – you’ll be paying it out, unless you can break the spell by rubbing the offending left hand on wood.
There’s some reason to believe that professional status may predetermine susceptibility to superstition. So, for instance, it’s a little hard to imagine the accountant who is auditing your finances being taken in by how you choose to fold your money. But people who live with high degrees of uncertainty (such as those involved in sports) are likely to be more susceptible.
There is one runaway winner in career susceptibility. As Ashley puts it, “No aspect of human life has more superstitious people than the performing arts.” Most of the clues foretell bad luck on stage – so don’t whistle, avoid using crutches or opening an umbrella, shun live flowers. And never say “Macbeth” backstage– call it “Shakespeare’s Scottish play.”
Perhaps the best known of all these is that you’re tempting fate if you wish an actor good luck before going onstage. Instead, go to the opposite extreme with “break a leg” (which, contrary to legend, did not originate when John Wilkes Booth purportedly broke his leg jumping on stage after killing Lincoln – in fact, he broke it later on when his horse fell during the escape).
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I apologize for short-changing good luck – all those pesky amulets and talismen like rabbit’s feet, mistletoe, four leaf clovers and horseshoes. (Just remember when you hang a horseshoe over the door, the ends need to be upwards or else the good luck will drain out.) Still , here are two things worth knowing.
First, if you brag about your luck, you’ll lose it – unless, of course, you knock on wood promptly to appease the fates who might prevent the good luck from happening. Second, you can’t force good luck. For instance, sailors consider it good luck to quarrel with their wives before setting sail. But that disagreement cannot be forced – it has to be an argument that happens without forethought (which is actually the way most of them do).
And here are a few choice proverbs about luck for you to dwell on. The Italians are a bit cynical on the subject: “Bad luck comes by pounds and goes away by ounces”; and “He who is lucky in love should never play cards.” The Scandinavians are practical: “Luck is always borrowed, not owned” (Norwegian); “Luck never gives: it lends” (Swedish). And the final word is in Yiddish: “It is better that the luck seek the man than that the man seek the luck.”
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It’s time now for a few personal anecdotes and observations.
Every year, my wife’s company, Fox Residential Group, sends out promotional year-end gifts to hundreds of clients, former clients and prospective clients. The gifts are thoughtfully selected and quite well-received.
Recently, Barbara came up with what seemed to me a very usable gift for this year – a pair of scissors bearing the Fox logo. But when two members of her staff heard of this possibility, they raised strenuous objections: “Giving a pair of scissors as a gift is considered bad luck – it cuts whatever friendship there would be in half.” Who knew? – but now she has to come up with something else.
In the residue of this near fiasco, Barbara gave me an article she had found on gift-giving superstitions. Unfortunately, it revealed that one of Fox’s hallmark gifts which she distributed a few times – an umbrella – is also bad luck. FYI, so is a mirror, long-stemmed red roses with thorns, and shoes for Christmas (which will make the recipient walk away from you).
I have one personal financial coup that I can ascribe to superstition. During my last year of active legal practice, I went to Sydney, Australia to settle through mediation a huge case that was a major priority for our firm. The trip was originally scheduled to last about two weeks, for which I obtained my wife’s indulgence.
But the stay in Sydney turned out to last for 40 days. As the weeks passed by with no settlement, I was feeling a little guilty, so I started buying Barbara gifts of increasing significance each Friday. To cap the successful trip, I decided to bring Barbara back an expensive piece of opal jewelry, for which Australia is famed.
Proudly, I announced my intentions to Barbara over the phone a few days before returning. “Don’t you dare!” she exclaimed – “Didn’t you know that wearing an opal is considered bad luck?” I wasn’t going to argue – begging off quickly and pocketing the hefty price . . . . Hey, I just realized that I might be the only guy who ever made money as a result of bad luck!
You may well ask: “Hey, Jim, is there any superstition – either good or bad luck harbinger – that you subscribe to?” To which I would have to reply that there is one, dating back to my Navy days. The venerable mariners aboard my ship were fond of saying: “Red sky in the morning, sailors take warning; red sky at night, sailor’s delight.” As a matter of fact, more often than not this is just the way things did occur. But that, of course, is simply a matter of science.
I’d very much like to hear from my readers about any superstitions that you especially endorse or reject, or that are particularly bizarre.
At any rate, I’ve now unburdened myself of all curses; I’ve selected the pinky ring that’s going to replace the pandemic occupant a few days from now; I’m wishing myself a Happy Birthday; I’m facing the future unafraid – but, truth be told, I’ve placed a small block of wood in my shoulder bag to knock on when the shift is made – just in case . . . .