SOME GOOD ADVICE

by Jim Freund

© 2022

            Now that this singular year of 2022 has wound down, leaving in its wake much uncertainty as to what lies ahead, it makes sense to kick off 2023 on a more positive note. So here’s my attempt at offering up some (hopefully) good advice for readers to tote along on the new year’s journey.

            To accomplish this, I went back four decades to a piece I wrote for the periodical Legal Times (later incorporated into my book Legal-Ease), in which I culled from a publication called “Good Advice” by William Safire and Leonard Safir, a selection of apt counsel, particularly aimed at my lawyering profession. But in re-reading the piece some 40 years later, I realized that almost all the advice was equally applicable to non-lawyers, and the only altering necessary was to take out some of the exhortations I had included to my professional brethren.

             Back then I also tried my own hand at generating useful advice. I’ve included some of these efforts (presented in capital letters).

             When I first wrote this piece about giving advice, I had just noticed something on my latest foray to Chinatown. The fortune cookies had ceased to predict but rather were in the business of giving advice. Gone were the “You will discover happiness” prognostications of yesteryear; in their place, the confections were producing such fluff as, “If you would be loved, love and be lovable”, or the subtle exhortation, “If you wish to, you will have an opportunity”, or the late unlamented “Being faithful to a trust brings its own reward.” I haven’t checked lately to see what the past 40 years has managed to produce.

             The essence of advice is a verb. As the Safir(e)’s note, “He who hesitates is lost” is a nice observation, but “Look before you leap” is advice. Henny Youngman probably had this distinction in mind when he cautioned, “If you’re going to do something tonight that you’ll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.”

            Let’s examine the possibilities in a variety of categories.

Action

             A lot of advice has an activist flavor: get going, get off your duff. “Trust only movement,” Alfred Adler observed. “Life happens at the level of events not of words. Trust movement.” Finish what you start. Napoleon put it most succinctly: “If you start to take Vienna – take Vienna.”

             WHEN THE JOB IS IMPORTANT, AND IT’S SOMETHING YOU DO WELL, DO IT YOURSELF. DEPENDING ON OTHERS HAS A SURFACE ATTRACTIVENESS, PROVIDING A READY SCAPEGOAT IF THINGS GO WRONG; BUT BOTTOM LINE IS THAT YOU’VE ONLY YOURSELF TO BLAME.

             This means that obstacles must be overcome (“Fall seven times, stand up eight,” goes the Japanese proverb). Opposition should not be feared (“Remember,” Hamilton Wright Mabie reminds us, “a kite rises against, not with the wind”). And the unpleasantness of the assignment may even be a plus.

            Having once decided to achieve a certain task, achieve it at all costs of tedium and distaste. The gain in self-confidence of having accomplished a tiresome labor is immense.

      – Arnold Bennett

             And keep in mind the immortal words of Edmund Burke, who said, “Never despair, but if you do, work on in despair.”

 Get Started

             Getting yourself untracked and under way is critical. “Begin,” said Ausonius: “to begin is half the work. Let half still remain; again begin this; and thou wilt have finished.” Sydney Smith put the same thought in different words: “It is the greatest of all mistakes to do nothing because you can do only a little. Do what you can.”

            (The sole voice to the contrary is that of George Shultz, who addressed the subject of government meddling with this twist on the familiar adjuration: “Don’t just do something – stand there.”)

            The big problem often occurs in transferring thoughts from the mind to the page.

            TO OVERCOME WRITER’S BLOCK, GET SOMETHING – ANYTHING – DOWN ON PAPER. DON’T WAIT FOR PERFECTION TO ISSUE FORTH. SINCE THE KEY TO GOOD WRITING IS REWRITING, GIVE YOURSELF SOMETHING TO EDIT.

             Hey, wait a minute, doesn’t anyone have a good word to say for procrastination? Well, Aaron Burr of all people had his own slant on Lord Chesterfield’s famous dictum: “Never do today what you can put off till tomorrow. Delay may give clearer light as to what is best to be done.” And J.A. Spender chafed at Chesterfield’s “pestilent morality,” under whose influence “I am forever letting tomorrow’s work slop backwards into today’s and doing painfully and nervously today what I could do quickly and easily tomorrow.”

 Look Ahead

             With all this action, there are bound to be mistakes. But the advice is uniform: Don’t look back. “When a thing is done, it’s done,” said George Marshall. “Look forward to your next objective.” Regrets are “an appalling waste of energy . . . only good for wallowing in,” according to Katherine Mansfield. I particularly liked the way Hugh White handled the subject:

            When you make a mistake, don’t look back at it long. Take the reason of the thing into your mind, and then look forward. Mistakes are lessons of wisdom. The past cannot be changed. The future is yet in your power.

            “Lesson of wisdom” – that’s a nice way of defining experience. But hark to Mark Twain’s caution:

            We should be grateful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it – and stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again – and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.

             And be careful not to provide your own excuse for failure.

            DON’T CREATE THE VERY CONDITIONS THAT CAUSE YOU TO FAIL. MISGUIDED DEMANDS OF PERSONAL EGO CAN PROVOKE FOOLISH MACHINATIONS, DESIGNED TO AVOID BEING JUDGED ON THE MERITS. DON’T BECOME ANOTHER SELF-FULFILLING PROPHECY STATISTIC.

Keep Cool

             Coolness under fire – a precious commodity. “Always behave,” said Arnold Bennett, “as if nothing had happened no matter what has happened.” Just make sure you don’t freeze into immobility. “Always behave like a duck – keep calm and unruffled on the surface but paddle like the devil underneath” (Jacob Braude).

             Those who can’t handle pressure face an uphill battle. This is often a nine-to-five world: Deadlines exist; frustrations proliferate; emotions can run high.

             IF YOU HAVE A CHOICE BETWEEN RISING TO THE OCCASION OR WILTING UNDER THE LOAD, CHOOSE WISELY.

             As for the inevitable disaster, well, there’s always the Italian proverb: “Since the house is on fire, let us warm ourselves.”

Be a Leader

             The subject of leadership has inspired numerous maxims (for example, Konrad Adenauer’s favorite: “As soon as you are complicated, you are ineffectual.”). But the one that appealed to me was Bear Bryant’s description of how to hold a team together (equally applicable in other leadership contexts):

            There’s just three things I ever say. If anything goes bad, then I did it. If anything goes semi-good, then we did it. If anything goes real good then you did it. That’s all it takes to get people to win football games for you.”

             All this talk today of the immovable bureaucracy, of powerlessness, and the lowest common dominator – it’s crap! I’m impressed daily with how certain individuals who want to accomplish something and are willing to work for it can make things happen.

            MOST OF US SIT AROUND WAITING FOR SOMEONE WITH INITIATIVE TO COME ALONG. WHY SHOULDN’T IT BE YOU?

Be Discreet

             Prudence and discretion are attractive qualities. If “the better part of valor” seems threadbare, try Abe Lincoln’s dictum: “When you have got an elephant by the hind leg, and he is trying to run away, it’s best to let him run.” Or, pithier still, a Jamaican proverb: “No call alligator long mouth till you pass him.”

             Sometimes, we have to sense our own limitations. (“Don’t be so humble.” said Golda Meir. “You’re not so great,”) Other times, while you’re striving to get somewhere, the people already there loom larger than life; but when you arrive, you’re often suprised to find how human they are, with abundant warts that don’t show during the climb.

            DON’T OVERESTIMATE THOSE WHOM YOU EMULATE; THEY AIN’T THAT GOOD, AND YOU PROBABLY ARE. THE LEGENDARY GIANTS AT THE END OF THE RAINBOW OFTEN TURN OUT TO BE PYGMIES.

             If you receive some juicy information; that’s as far as it should go. The Jewish proverb is right on the nose: “Your friend has a friend; don’t tell him.” Saadi proffered similar advice for a different reason (and then added a kicker):

            Reveal not every secret you have to a friend, for how can you tell but that friend may hereafter become an enemy. And bring not all the mischief you are able to upon an enemy, for he may one day become your friend.

Less is More

             Perhaps it’s an occupational necessity, but in terms of speech, pundits definitely go with brevity. “Always be shorter than anyone dared to hope, advised Lord Reading, while Winston Churchill came at it this way: “Say what you have to say and the first time you come to a sentence with a grammatical ending – sit down.” And Henry S. Hawkins noted this pertinent bit of body language: “The time to stop talking is when the other person nods his head affirmatively but says nothing.”

             Do you tend to be long-winded? You’d do better to absorb Ben Franklin’s advice:

            Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

             (William James expressed a similar thought thusly:

            “The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook.”)

            As for writing:

            BE CONCISE. LESS IS MORE. BRAVURA DISPLAYS ONLY SERVE TO IRRITATE; BREVITY IS WHAT PAYS THE RENT.

            In terms of style, here’s Churchill’s advice:

            If you have an important point to make, don’t try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time – a tremendous whack.

            Or the similar thrust of Judge Joe Baldwin’s advice to lawyers:

            If you have a strong case in law, talk to the judge.

            If you have a strong case in fact, talk to the jury.

            But if you have no case in law or fact, talk to the wild elements and bellow like a bull.

Be Truthful

             You must respect the truth. Edward R. Murrow put it this way: “To be persuasive, we must be believable. To be believable, we must be credible. To be credible, we must be truthful.” Michel de Montaigne emphasized the practical side: “He who is not very strong in memory should not meddle with lying.” And Mark Twain put his own brand of spin on the ball: “When in doubt, tell the truth.”

Criticize Constructively

             If you’re going to criticize someone’s work, here are some considerations to keep in mind. Solon set the right tone in antiquity when he said: “Reprove thy friend privately; commend him publicly.” The Chinese have long cautioned against overdoing it: “Do not remove a fly from your friend’s forehead with a hatchet.” And here’s a good tip that might come in handy when you’re ripping apart someone’s written effort “You should not say it is not good. You should say you do not like it; and then, you know, you’re perfectly safe” (James McNeill Whistler).

 Be (In)consistent

             Many people are obsessed by consistency; others delight in breaking new ground. Don’t be a nay-sayer. “Big ideas are so hard to recognize, so fragile, so easy to kill. Don’t forget that, all of you who don’t have them” (John Elliott Jr.)

             And remember, when its your idea that’s the target of justified criticism:

            NEVER BECOME MIRED IN DEFENDING AN UNWORKABLE IDEA OUT OF SOME MISGUIDED EGO OR MACHISMO MOTIVATION. CUT YOUR LOSSES AND MOVE ON.

             And here, for your edification, is the whole of the Emerson quote which so many of us delight in paraphrasing:

            A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines. With consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do . . . . Speak what you think now is hard words and tomorrow speak what tomorrow thinks is hard words again, though it contradicts everything you said today.

Forgive and Forget

             Forgive and forget, right? Well, not quite. On the one hand: “Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much” (Oscar Wilde).

            But on the other: “Never forget what a man says to you when he is angry” (Henry Ward Beecher).

            FORGIVE ANYONE YOU’VE FORGOTTEN, BUT DON’T FORGET WHICH ONES YOU HAVEN’T FORGIVEN.

            You can’t operate on the luck of the draw – little should be left to chance. Three keen observers of the human scene arrived at the same conclusion. Damon Runyon put it this way:   “It may be that the race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong – but that’s the  way to bet.”

             Will Rogers offered some sage counsel: “Don’t gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don’t go up, don’t buy it.”

             And listen to W.C. Field’s words of wisdom: “Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.”

             My view is slightly different:

            AND WHILE YOU HOLD THESE PRECEPTS DEAR,

            THROUGH MIRE AND THROUGH MUCK,

            DON’T UNDERESTIMATE THE NEED

            TO HAVE A LITTLE LUCK.

             Certain counsel is better not given: “Never advise anyone to go to war or to marry” (Spanish proverb).  

             Certain questions are better not posed: “Don’t ask the barber whether you need a haircut” (Daniel Greenberg).

             Certain areas are better not investigated: “Never make forecasts, especially about the future” (Samuel Goldwyn).

             And, oh yes; Nelson Algren reminds us of the terrible trilogy.

            Never play cards with a man named Doc. Never eat at a place called Mom’s. Never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own.